You have a lot of different issues there:
Med school stress, lovers promises than can be kept or unfulfilled (so it’s a different perspective from which end you stand), motivation, sense of personal achievement on your part, when you reached your goal, feeling of betrayal when he did not fulfilled his promise, after all, your love for him motivated you…how come his love for you did not motivate him? Maybe he does not love you as much as you love him? Feeling of guilt when you get more disgusted by his appearance, taboo subject because you cannot mention his weight to him because your were brought up to be polite, sensitive so you’re unable to tell him the truth that he’s just a fat “you know what” (I’m being polite) or even pry out that pizza slice from his hands and shove it down the garbage disposal. You care about his wellbeing and high blood pressure and stuff more than he seems to care.
You cannot compare women and men’s weight issues. As a woman, I would have to eat more than 1,200 calories to get fat but a guy, even a couch potato one, would burn more calories than me and need to eat twice as much because he would have more fat burning muscle mass. This is why guys really need to eat like “you know what” (I’m being polite) in order to get fat, They need to eat a lot of fast food, processed food, and/or drink beer…Guys do not get fat just because they do not exercise, they get fat because they eat huge amount of junk food.
So, here you are, not eating much, exercising a lot, looking better, toned and thinner and you have to deal with the fat, lazy “you know what” (I’m being polite) gaining weight and being oblivious or reluctant to your efforts to make him get off the couch. He does not seem to care about how he looks or his health.
You lost extra weight so would keep his interest but he does not seem to do the same. One thing you should know is that you should never lose weight to keep a man’s interest. You could still be the most beautiful woman in the word, like a thin, tall, muscular world famous top model…and your man will steal cheat on you. Don’t take it personally, and most of all, don’t blame yourself if you’re not the most beautiful women in the word, thin, tall and muscular top model (she could not keep her man either).
I’m 5’5 and when my husband took a mistress, I was 115lbs, thin, muscular; in great shape…but I could not lose half my age and be as young as his mistress…or I could not become somebody else.
I hear about wives who got dumped because they got fat…NO! They should not blame themselves. If they had remained thin and in shape and beautiful…still their low life husbands would have left them, some guys are just vomit material spraying their bile around.
Lose weight, get in shape for your own well being and strength, not for some guy who will leave you for somebody else anyway, just because she’s somebody else, just different or just younger.
Some guys like to get in shape to attract girls but when they got one (especially the desperate ones, like you, losing weight for them!!), they stop going to the gym but keep eating pizza and drinking beers and in a few years, they’ll look like they’re 8 months pregnant with a blob of fat that they’ll never deliver.
Do him a favor…dump him. Like a ball, you can catch him back later, when he’ll be very grateful when you give him a second chance, after he gets back in shape and gets healthy again, thanks to you. He knows he cannot get girls if he’s a fat slob (no girlfriend…no sex)…so that will get him moving and his horniness (need for sex with a live woman and not an inflated doll) will motivate him well enough to gain some muscle mass and lose some fat reserves.
Or…he could become a fat doctor with money and get some trophy wife whom he’ll dump every 20 years to get a younger one…the power of money!My Boyfriend has gained weight... what to do?
tell him you want to be healthier and take him to the gym. i want to lose weight and i dont have anyone to go with me, so i just dont do anything. you need to encourage him, and help him out... or it probably wont happen.
do you live near any nice parks or something? Take a picnic (sandwiches and fruit!!!) and hike out. And if he asks if you're almost there and you're not, just say ';a bit farther'; over and over again, until you really are almost there. that might work. also, maybe you should be indirect about it. mention you wanting to do some sort of physical exercise but you don't want to do it without him.
stop NAGGING him--would you rather he be anorexic (near death skinny)--you don't ';motivate'; when you ';NAG'; him
because YOU are so obsessed with HIS weight?
If you want him to lose weight have him do the compound exercises like deadlift, squats, power cleans (all of which work your core really well to develop some nice abs), bench, pull-ups ,dips, bent over rows.
Tell him if he doesn't take some time to get to the gym you will take away sex from him, because you don't want his fat body on you. Maybe that will motivate him everyone knows how much guys like sex. If i was fat it would motivate me honestly. Anyways, its tough to make him do something especially if he is stressed.
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